A miscommunication occurred during my work in Kidzania Singapore last year. I started a role play activity with a group of six and instructed them to wear a vest. When I was helping the younger children, I felt a forceful slap on my back. I was shocked. It turned out that a Japanese-American seven-year-old boy was the perpetrator.
I immediately stopped what I was doing and asked him if he hit me. He nodded and I observed that his mother was waiting outside the establishment. I then approached his mother. After telling her what occured, she looked perplexed and told her son off. He then turned and stormed out of the establishment without apologising. She followed him and there was nothing I could do besides continuing on with the current activity.
During my break, my supervisor asked to see me. She told me I received a complaint from a Japanese mother for upsetting her son. I told her what happened truthfully and she said she was surprised as this was the first complaint I received at work. She empathised with me and told me to find the duty manager in future if I encounter a difficult situation.
I felt indignant about this incident and started wondering how I could have better handled it. Maybe I should have asked the boy to explain why he slapped me. Or maybe he was just not aware that his actions were socially unacceptable. How would you have reacted in this situation?
From this experience, I realized that my body language and emotions affected my communication with the child negatively. Being in a child-oriented industry, I should have stooped down to his level before asking him to apologize. I could have managed the situation better by calming myself down and applying active listening to solve the problem. This occurred as I was busy with facilitating the activity and acted before thinking. Thus, a better solution would be to obtain the help of the duty manager as I did not have the time to handle such a situation.
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It is great news that your manager understood your situation and empathized with you. Based on your own values and beliefs, I understand that you felt that his actions were socially unacceptable. However, since he nodded his head when you confronted him, you could have took a step further and asked him to apologize by telling him that it was wrong for him to act in this manner. From there, you could have forgiven him and would not need to bring it up to his mother.
Moreover, you could have managed your feelings better by listening to his problems and understand why he hit you. Was it because you were not paying enough attention to him? Was he seeking attention? From what we have learned in our lessons, you could have also looked into non-verbal cues such as his body language to understand him better. Since the customer is always right in the service industry.
However, I also recognize that you have your own rights and feel indignant about this incident as it was not your fault. But it is important to note that in the service industry, the customer is always right. Thus, the right action would be to inform your duty manager if you are unable to handle the situation.
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Firstly, kudos to your manager for being so understanding and empathizing with you.
Perhaps you should have approached the boy first to inquire as to why he decided to get your attention by slapping you on your back so forcefully. If he was really brought up that way (Slapping others as a way of getting attention), its not his fault and you should try empathizing with him. After all, he is just a 7 year old kid. You could also try educating him that his way of getting attention was wrong, and not to repeat the action again. I would let the matter rest if the boy acknowledged his mistake and apologized, and trust him not to repeat it.
In addition, perhaps you could have intervened when his mother decided to scold him on the spot. If I were him, I would be frustrated and embarrassed at being scolded in a public place too.
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I don’t know about intercepting the Mom, because no parent likes intervention when they carry out discipline.
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I think you were caught off-guard by the sudden pain, and the environment might be too noisy for you to carry out active listening. In any case, you still had the other children to take care of. But yes, it’s a good idea to at least ask the boy why he hit you.
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